6 ways to deal with selfishness

6 ways to deal with selfishness

Each of us is selfish to a certain extent, but when a person's selfishness reaches a certain level, even to the level of narcissism, problems begin to appear.

If your family members, partners, or colleagues make you feel transparent just because they rarely pay attention to your needs, then this article is for you. Here are 6 effective ways to deal with selfish people:

1. Don't pay too much attention to their selfish behavior, on the contrary, be a true self

We can easily fall into accusations against others. If some people make you feel uncomfortable just because you haven't paid them enough attention, then you need to know that you don't need to fall to their level, and you don't need to care too much about what they say. It is not your job to continue serving certain people.

Being around a self-centered person will make you experience all kinds of anger, depression, and sadness. You need to understand that you are only responsible for yourself, and you do not need to respond to their selfish behavior. Instead, you need to focus on your hobbies and some interesting things to share the pressure you feel.

2. Try to understand what triggered their selfish behavior

Psychologist F. Diane Barth once emphasized that understanding does not mean getting out of trouble. By understanding a person's selfish motivation and selfish patterns can help you to despise their behavior less. Most human, selfishness is an instinct. Take children as an example, selfishness is their nature, and learning to understand the feelings and needs of other people is what they learn gradually when they grow up.

And those who are elderly and mentally ill are selfish because it is a way of living. When you understand a person’s selfish motives, you sometimes understand that selfishness is a necessary behavior.

3. Familiar with misunderstandings about selfishness

Many misunderstandings about self-proprietary. For example, in some cultures raising children is a kind of selfless behavior, but not raising children is a kind of behavior. But some people raise children for some selfish reasons, such as the feeling of being loved, want to maintain an interest relationship with a couple, or simply want to satisfy their desire to be a parent.

This is why when we define selfishness and selflessness, we need to conduct very detailed inspection and evaluation of specific scenarios. Some people are selfish and unknowing, which makes it particularly important to help them see the problem from a broader perspective.

4. Mention some topics that interest you in the conversation

If you feel uncomfortable to always hear someone talk about yourself in a conversation, then you can interrupt it in some peaceful way. No matter if you like art, music or philosophy, you can divert the topic in the middle of the conversation with some simple questions.

In the beginning, these inserted topics may be a bit abrupt, but it can be a good reminder that your conversation involves too much about them. If the other party still tries to bring the topic back, then you can simply say that you have heard it before.

5. Try to reduce the time you spend together

Keeping distance can always solve many problems. When you reduce the time you spend with selfish people, you can gain more freedom to take care of your own happiness instead of getting caught up in satisfying their needs. This is much more feasible than shutting others out completely, especially since this selfish person may be a family member or colleague, and sometimes cannot be avoided completely.

When you have such a safe border, you are reminding them that the world does not revolve around them. This will also give you more time to spend time with friends who are worth staying with, so as to better help you grow. On the contrary, you may fall into the responsibilities of satisfying other people.

6. To understand the difference between healthy selfishness and toxic selfishness

If you continue to deal with some selfish people, you often feel guilty when you put yourself first. Remember, you are not doing anything wrong, it is the right thing to take care of yourself. But some toxic, selfish people will manipulate you to think in other ways. This is why it is very important to connect with self-love and self-respect.

We need a healthy degree of selfishness to satisfy our mental health. After you recognize a toxic selfish pattern, you can find a way to avoid it. You have to meet your needs and desires from time to time, because you are also important.